EN: How you live with expectations - without disappointments

Everyone has expectations of you - your partner, your family, your boss, your friends, colleagues, neighbours. And these expectations are very high. But you also have expectations of others. And these are not low either. Clearly: Your life is quite complex - not to say confusing!

That's why you are always under pressure - at work, in everyday life, after work - even on weekends?

Expectations - and the fear of not fulfilling them (and thus disappointing others - or being disappointed) - put you under constant stress. You hardly know where your head is at anymore. It becomes more and more difficult for you to make decisions and concentrate on the things that are important to you. Does this describe your perception? Welcome to the club! Because many people feel the same way as you do.


Questioning expectations ..instead of guessing?


Do you have the feeling of being constantly confronted with expectations? But what exactly are "expectations"?

Expectations are your assumptions about what will happen in the future, ...

  • ...what someone else is going to do and why they're going to do it

  • ... what someone else expects you to do

Do you notice anything? We're talking about projections. But projections are guesses. Your personal guess. Assumptions can be correct, of course. But only if they're based on valid information. Anything else is just a guessing game.

Are you really certain that you know what you're expected to do? On what do you base that knowledge? For example, on what do you base your assumption about what your boss expects of you? Do you know for sure that you have to complete the task by tomorrow? On what do you base the expectation of your parents that you should visit them every Sunday? Did your parents specifically ask you to do this?


So please ask yourself: Are your expectations really proven? Have you obtained all available information and used it to make realistic forecasts about your expectations?

No? Then you have come to the right place: Because I will accompany you to find orientation and peace of mind again from within yourself. To achieve this on your own is almost impossible - because you simply lack an overview. As the saying goes: You can't see the forest for the trees.

This is also true in your case - because you are simply too close. But I have the necessary distance - and from this distance I can assist you to ask the right questions. Because you already carry the answers inside you. All you have to do is "ask them out".

With special coaching and methods of analyses.

Start approaching your everyday life again - I will show you how!


Expectations of yourself….do they really exist?


Hold on! – you may be thinking. There’s one aspect Ms Klein has forgotten: How about expectations I have towards myself?


Well, expectations that others have towards you, and those you have towards others are defined as assumptions which generally are not being challenged. They are hence imaginary agreements. By perceiving or having expectations in your head you are making arrangements with other people about what they should do or how they should feel who often don’t know anything about them. Because these arrangements are (solely) based on your own wishes and perceptions.


Can one have such imagined arrangements with oneself? No, that‘s impossible. Let’s face it, one does not have another identity, one can’t speculate about the intentions or actions of oneself. That’s why one does not have expectations towards oneself but instead maybe one has a set of goals or wishes. However, this does not mean that one can not try to fool oneself: „I really should go jogging again.““I really need to loose 10 pounds.““Tomorrow I will update the entire client database for the boss“. The crux of the matter is that there a two traps one can step into that prevent us form reaching our goals.

Trap 1: The set goal is unrealistic

"I'll review the entire client database for the boss tomorrow." This probably won't work because this task can't be completed in one working day (and not even with overtime).

Trap 2: The inner bastard or one’s weaker self

"I really need to go jogging again." Often the good intention is all there is: because in the evening after work you are not motivated enough - and then of all things, there is a nice movie on TV that night. You can always go jogging tomorrow. And so it goes: The inner bastard has won again.


You see: This has nothing to do with "expectations" towards yourself (according to our definition) But with honesty to oneself. But how do you achieve this honesty? How do you set yourself realistic goals - and achieve them? How do you get a grip on your inner bastard? Here, too, I can accompany you - through targeted self-reflection and professional coaching.


Together with me you can do it. Want to bet?


Bianca-Maria Klein – Coach, Speaker, Trainerin

change@biancamariaklein.com

+49 (179) 9370231

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